Five Faves -- June 2019

Happy Summer!

Here are my favorite books from the first month of summer break...

You Me Everything by Catherine Isaac
What seals this one is its setting -- a gorgeous family resort in the French countryside.  I liked these characters and rooted for them as they reconciled past with present.

Summer of '69 by Elin Hilderbrand 
This one is Hilderbrand's first historical novel and it was great visiting Nantucket in the past (since I've "been there" so many other times more recently) and during such a historic moment (Vietnam, moon launch, Chappaquiddick, Woodstock on the horizon).  I just loved Kate's family and want to check in on them again in future summers.  Teared up at the beginning and the end.

For Everyone by Jason Reynolds 
Jason Reynolds is a YA author with whom I was unfamiliar, but this book was featured at Joseph Beth Bookstore when I was visiting Cincinnati and so I picked it up.  Short but powerful ... truly a title for everyone who needs inspiration and motivation to keep going, keep dreaming, keep creating, keep doing.  Just loved it.

The Flatshare by Beth O'Leary
I've read so many books that reference Bridget Jones's Diary on the cover blurbs that have been so very, very disappointing.  Finally, a book that is worthy of the comparison!  Humor and heart.  Strong friendships.  A heroine you can really care about and root for.  The Flatshare also tackles some serious topics in addition to its very endearing love story.  Thoroughly satisfying.

Ask Again, Yes by Mary Beth Keane
Two families whose lives intersect over several decades -- love, challenges, changes, and, especially, forgiveness. 

Honorable Mentions...
The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren -- super fun and funny summer read!
Rules for Visiting by Jessica Francis Kane -- slow but lovely story about nurturing friendships
Into the Woods by Tana French -- my first Dublin Murder Squad book, won't be my last
The Printed Letter Bookshop by Katherine Reay -- fresh start story featuring books and friendships

I'll Push You

A friend texted me that we needed to go see a documentary she heard about.  I'll Push You is the story of two friends journeying five hundred miles on the Camino de Santiago with the plot twist that one of the friends, Justin, is in a wheelchair.  As I left the house this evening, I admittedly wished I was going to see a chick flick.  It's been a long and kind of stressful week and I thought I wanted something lighter.

I'll Push You ended up being exactly what I needed ... one more reminder of the importance of being willing to ask for and to accept help and a powerful testament to all the graces that come when you give of yourself and, and this is the part I struggle with, when you allow others to give to you. If it's showing near you, go see it.  Definitely look for opportunities to stream it in the future.  There was one joke about sex (which was no big deal), but I think he film is appropriate for upper elementary and middle school kids.  I'd like my kids to experience this story and see this amazing friendship.

One tip:  sit as far back in the theater as you can.  I tend toward motion sickness, and the filming of the wheelchair on very rugged terrain was too much for me from my second row recliner seat.  After closing my eyes quite a bit the first third of the film, I ended up standing in the entry aisle to watch the rest.  You know it's a quality film when you don't mind standing to see it.

I'm lucky to have friends who push me to watch, read, and experience things outside of my comfort zone. 

Book Binge -- Boy Band Girl Fan

I enjoy a good Netflix binge as much as the next person.  For me, that means watching 3-4 episodes of one show in a week.  I have a fantasy that one day I'll find a show that I'm so obsessed with that I'll start walking on the treadmill to justify watching more episodes.  For now though, any binge behavior takes place on the couch, usually while folding laundry. 

I listened to Goldy Moldavasky's Kill The Boy Band over a month ago.  It's a funny but DARK novel about a boy band, The Ruperts, and their fangirls.  I liked the sharp writing and insights into fangirl culture and female friendship.  I think it would be a great book club selection.  Quick read with lots to discuss.

Kill The Boy Band brought to mind two other novels that involve male performers and their female fans.

And so, I present to you, a new blog feature, the first-ever Book Binge ...

Allison Pearson's I Think I Love You is the story of Petra, a teenager from Wales, and her obsession with David Cassidy in the mid-70s.  This novel captures the old school fangirl (was this a word then?) playbook of fan magazines, letters, and clubs.  Like Kill The Boy Band, I Think I Love You is also a story of female friendship.

The Love Song of Jonny Valentine by Teddy Wayne is a novel for anyone who's ever wondered about Bieber Fever and the like.  This novel focuses on the boy fueling all those fangirl fantasies and made me feel compassion for its Bieberesque protagonist.

Kill The Boy Band by Goldy Moldavsky takes fan culture into the age of social media, evidencing the powerful influence of Twitter, blogs, and fan-sourced information.

Any college students in need of an essay topic?  Read these three books and have at it.  

Girl Trouble

Kerry Cohen's Girl Trouble: An Illustrated Memoir caught my eye at the library last week.  Female friendship was an academic interest of mine and is, of course, a personal one as well.  Cohen tells her life story as she chronicles her various female friendships in (more or less) chronological order.  These reflections on friendship are honest and insightful and surprisingly specific.  Many of her female friendships have been troublesome, but she owns that.  This memoir is not fueled by a sense of victimhood or defensiveness.  

Here are two thought-provoking passages from Girl Trouble:

"I miss all of my ex-friends.  They are stamped onto my heart like old romances, lost loves.  They are part of me in ways no one warned me they would be.  Had I known, I would have chosen more carefully.  I would have better thought through what we did to one another, how we used each other, and how we split apart" (111).

"I have figured out that the formula is kindness.  Don't be an asshole.  Don't try to hurt people.  Try hard to have boundaries and limit expectations and take responsibility for your own heart.  Because you never know who will return in all their truth and beauty" (127).

Our friendships shape and define us.  Sometimes our friends teach and lift us.  Sometimes they limit and diminish us, though not necessarily on purpose.  Over 41 years, I've been blessed with many female friends of the best sort, but as with most women, I've lost friends along the way.  Not any dramatic break-ups that I can recall, but some slow, vague drifts toward silence, indifference, distance.  What I tell myself (and truly believe) is that even if a friendship does not last forever, that does not mean it was not true, real, or necessary during a particular time in my life.  

I think if I endeavored to reflect on and write about my female friendships over the years, I'd feel overwhelmed with gratitude for the lessons learned and laughter shared.  I think I'd also feel overwhelmed with regret and shame for the times I have failed my friends and for what those "failures" reveal about me.  I'm no monster, but we all have our flaws, quirks, and blind spots.  It might be more comfortable for me to reflect on friendships by asking myself what I learned from each, what better (or worse) version of myself I was able to access with each.  I doubt I'll turn my pen to this anytime soon, but I'm intrigued by the idea. 

In the spirit of the season, I am truly thankful for my female friends.  The ones I see each day.  The ones who knew me when.  The ones waiting in the wings.