Cozy-ish

Early on in the Covid-19 at-home hunkering, I listened to Cozy: The Art of Arranging Yourself in the World by Isabel Gillies.  I borrowed the book from Hoopla Digital, thanks to my public library's subscription, and even though the single Hoopla reviewer on record didn't love this title (see photo above), I figured I'd give it a try since it sounded comforting in these strange times and because years ago I read and loved Gillies' memoir Happens Every Day.

This book is less a how-to guide to coziness (ideas of what's cozy do vary by individual) and more a series of Gillies' thoughts and reflections regarding categories, examples, and dimensions of coziness.  I think the idea is that readers will enjoy her thoughts on coziness and then start thinking about what they find cozy and finding ways to arrange their surroundings and attitudes for more coziness.

Once I finished listening to Cozy, I made my own list of general conditions for and specific memories of coziness from my own life.  Here are some of the things I find or have found cozy:

* The feeling of opening up one's library bag and having the time to carefully inspect the treasures inside, especially if they were gathered hastily or haphazardly when at the library.

* That moment when you've changed out a lampshade (I used to have a Target lampshade-buying problem) and then click the lamp on for the first time with its new/different shade.

* Warm lighting in general.  Side note:  Gillies talks about the importance of pointing out coziness to your kids so they can create/find it for themselves.  Thanks to me, my kids are very tuned in to cozy lighting.  We are all passionately against cool light.  

* The feeling of eating at Cracker Barrel (think corn muffin with butter) in the right conditions.  The right conditions = husband not present or husband initiating trip.  Eating at CB with a reluctant husband is the opposite of cozy.

* This combination:  blanket, good book, fountain Diet Coke.

* Gallery walls

* Looking at my cardinal Christmas tree in December.

* Certain movies and shows watched at home:  BBC Pride and Prejudice,  Wonderworks Anne of Green Gables, Bridget Jones's Diary, The Office, Gilmore Girls.

* Being at an airport gate with a snack, a good book, and no anxiety about flight delays or cancellations.

* Sitting in a movie theater with girlfriends, preferably with popcorn and DC.  Note:  I went on a last minute outing to see Emma on Monday, March 9th, which was wholly delightful and now seems like it happened in a different lifetime.

* Coming inside after a chilly walk and feeling energized, virtuous, and rosy-cheeked.

* Going through a drive-thru and then finding a parking spot (I try to find one near a tree) and eating alone in my car.  It sounds sad, but it's not, and it is a cozy habit that my sister also enjoys.

* I play on a tennis team and after our matches, the home team provides lunch for the visiting team.  You sit with your own team during lunch, and I love that cozy time of chatting and eating with my teammates (women of all ages at various stages of life).  Even cozier if I won that day.

* The smell of a basketball gym.

* My kids and I stay after school two days a week to pray the Rosary with a small group.  These afternoons in our beautiful Church with these friends are very special and cozy to me.

* Sitting on my parents' giant sectional couch with other members of my family.

* Eating pot roast nachos at Pint's, a sports bar in town.

* Meeting my "breakfast club" friends at Egg Harbor.  Buttering toast and adding their delicious jam.

* Settling into a little crafting corner I have and making cards out of washi tape.

* Visiting the book sale corner of my library.

* Browsing at my favorite gift shop, The Uptown Shop.

* Sitting at my kitchen table with a snack and a stack of magazines.

* Bookshelves ... my own but also those of others, especially glanced through a window (in a non-creep way) when taking a walk in the evening.

* Birthday cards displayed on a mantel.

* The feeling of laughing and lingering at a restaurant or bar with good friends.

* Singing along with my kids or friends in a moving vehicle or at a concert or at church.

Gillies makes the point that cozy is not just an at-home phenomenon.  It's things (often little) but also a state of mind.

Some of the words that help convey cozy to me -- safe, satisfied, content, familiar, hopeful.

I acknowledge that it is a luxury to be at home writing about coziness at this moment when many are sick and when others like medical professionals and grocery store employees are exposed and vulnerable.  I'm staying home as asked and looking for ways to make that experience more cozy than confining.  I wouldn't say my current state of mind is cozy (too much uncertainty and strangeness for that) but there are cozy moments, and I am thankful for them.  Making this list helps me look forward to a brighter future when we can once again feel cozy in the world and in one another's company.   

I would love to know what you find cozy.

I did take a few photos from the past week or so that captured moments of cozy.

 This photo is not taken from a great angle, but it shows a cozy scene of book, 

dog, pajamas, a lamp shade with warm light, and a gallery wall.

 This photo was taken on Sunday when my family rented the new Emma.  We have fire, family, snow outside, birthday cards on mantel, and son in his Comfy.  The scene was a bit less idyllic than it may seem as not everyone loved the movie as much as I did and we had to pause frequently to clarify plot points.

These Hunter boot socks are cozy as all get out.

What day did it snow?  I'm losing track, but snow-covered trees and roofs are cozy to me.

Last night's sunset warmed my heart. Cozy.  Hopeful. 

Stay well, everyone.  Take care of yourself and one another.

Five Faves -- July 2019

Surfacing to share my five favorite reading experiences from the past month ...

The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo was everything I wanted and needed it to be.  It included the most moments of heart-bursting joy I've experienced in a book in recent history.  You're invited into the lives of a family over decades.  They are flawed and funny and loving and sometimes selfish and sometitmes lost and it was just wonderful to be there with them for the highs and lows.  Bonus for me was the Chicago/Oak Park setting.  Favorite characters?  Jonah and Wendy.

Fleishman Is In Trouble by Taffy Brodesser-Aker is perfect for book clubs.  Anyone who only reads the first quarter or so of the book will be saying how the guy seems okay if only he would stop with all that swiping.  Then, those who read on will be thinking that actually, he's a pretty good dad.  But that mom?!  You'll want to judge that mom.  Keep reading.  Then, you're ready for a really good discussion about marriage, gender, power, societal norms, and more.  Very interesting narrative frame for this novel with Fleishman's college friend connecting the stories.

Call It What You Want by Bridget Kemmerer is a solid and satisfying YA novel.  I've loved all Kemmerer's non-fantasy YA novels (I may indeed love her fantasy ones as well, but I haven't tried them as that's typically not my bag).  It's been almost twenty years since I was a high school teacher so I can't accurately judge how realistic it is for kids on the fringe or the outs (for various reasons) to find each other and connect.  I love the idea of readers seeing more expansive possibilities for friendship on the pages of the books they read -- that's my kind of fantasy, I suppose.

Things You Save in a Fire by Katherine Center is a breezy read that still has heft.  I enjoyed Cassie's journey and liked learning about life as a firefighter, the station scene, etc.  This novel is a forgiveness story and we can always use more of those (well, most of us can).  I think I've read all of Center's novels and they are all reliable reads.

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong is beautifully written.  I listened to the audio version, narrated by the author, and I'm glad I did as his lyrical, poetic style lends itself to being read aloud.  Content wise, this book is not easy to read:  the inheritance of war, abuse, opioid addiction, the loneliness and challenge of the immigrant experience.  There's also love and friendship and some beautiful moments of generosity ... a young man finding his way and his words (and with his words).  Not easy to read but worth reading.

Honorable mentions ....
Waiting for Tom Hanks by Kerry Winfrey -- There was a time (long, long ago) when I had time to watch rom coms, some of them over and over again.  This book brought me back to that time and I just inhaled it.  Fans of Meg Ryan movies ... treat yourselves!

Dear Wife by Kimberly Belle -- I found this thriller via Hoopla Digital and listened for free because my library subscribes.  Couldn't wait to find out how the two women's stories overlapped and didn't find it predictable nor overly twisty (getting weary of books with twist after twist after twist).

If you follow me on Instagram (I'm @booksandcarbs), some of these blurbs will sound familiar.  If you don't follow me on Instagram, please find me! 

2018 Reading Highlights -- Fiction

Better late than never.  I'm writing two posts.  Here's the first:  2018 Reading Highlights -- Fiction.   My descriptions are going to be BRIEF and still this post will be too long. 

I chose this photo of the Elmhurst Public Library at sunset because EPL is truly the beating heart of my reading life.  Not only do they have a wonderful selection of books, often arranged in tempting displays, but their e-resources are unbelievable.  Thanks to My Media Mail/The Libby App and Hoopla Digital, I read and listen to many wonderful books for free.  Because Hoopla is the easiest digital resource to use (if your library subscribes, which I hope it does), I will make mention when a title is available via Hoopla.

2018 Highlights -- New Books from Old Favorites

If you can't easily secure the title I mentioned, you're safe choosing a backlist pick.

All I Ever Wanted by Emily Giffin:  Giffin's best book in years.  It's a whole new world out there with social media, even for "good" kids.

Lethal White by Robert Galbraith:  I am obsessed with the Cormoran Strike series.  I waited almost two years for this one.  Start at the beginning with Cuckoo's Calling though.  Even my husband is hooked, though he won't gush about it like I do.

Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty:  Some people found this one to be a snoozer, but I liked the characters and their back stories.  Stick with it.

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones:  A tough novel to read, but so well-written and worth it.  If it's unavailable, try Silver Sparrow.

How Hard Can It Be by Allison Pearson:  I waited over a decade for this follow up to I Don't Know How She Does It.  You need to read that one first, but then you won't have to wait ten years for this worthy sequel.

Anatomy of a Miracle by Jonathan Miles:  Cameron was paralyzed and walks again.  Miracle?  Medical breakthrough?  You'll want to meet Cameron, his sister, and his neighbors. 

How the Light Gets In by Louise Penny:  I listened to seven Chief Inspector Gamache books in 2018,  I recommend listening because the narration is exquisite.  My heart about burst at the end of How the Light Gets In, but you can't start there.  You have to start at the beginning with Still Life.  Sorry.

2018 Highlights -- Solid, Satisfying Novels

These books just hit the spot for me. I'm not going to say much more.

How to Walk Away by Katherine Center:  Center's best yet.

Emergency Contact by Mary H.K. Choi:  Includes witty text exchanges.

I Liked My Life by Abby Fabiaschi:  Premise is the worst, but stick with the story and you'll be glad.  Available via Hoopla.

The Cactus by Sarah Haywood:  Great for fans of Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine.  Available via Hoopla.

One Day in December by Josie Silver:  Read it and imagine the blockbuster rom-com it will be one day (see what I did there?).

This Must Be the Place by Maggie O'Farrell:  This one was a WOW for me.

My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh:  Dark, dark, dark, but it worked for me.  You might hate it though.

2018 Highlights -- New Favorite Authors

I will track down all future titles.

Jane Harper:  Great mysteries with cool Australian settings.  I enjoyed The Dry and Force of Nature.

Cherise Wolas:  The Family Tabor asks big questions:  How does one negotiate life without faith?  What happens if you try to bury, deny, discount the past?  Her previous novel also made me think.  I'll come back for more.

2018 Highlights -- New Favorite YA Authors

I am picky about my YA.  I don't like YA novels where teen characters are mouthpieces for adult author social/political commentary or when situations are exceptionally brutal, bleak, or sexual.  I like books that feature interesting teen friendships and relationships with witty, realistic-seeming dialogue.

Emma Mills:  I started with First and Then, a romance involving football and a play on my beloved P&P.  Stay tuned for reports of the 2019 Emma Mills bender I went on.

Brigid Kemmerer:  I started with More than We Can Tell and have since read another from the Letters to the Lost Series.  Looks like there are some other series, but they sound sort of Sci-Fi-ish so I'm not likely to be going there.  Letters to the Lost though ... I'm all in.

2018 Highlights -- Short Stories
I always think I don't like short stories until I remember that I do.

You Think It, I'll Say It by Curtis Sittenfeld:  Just right.  Smart, witty, ringing true.

Fight No More by Lydia Millet:  These interconnected short stories were a fantastic surprise.  Sad and happy and hopeful.  Available via Hoopla.

2018 Highlights -- For Anne (with an "e") Fans

In case your spot for Anne of Green Gables is as soft as mine is.

Marilla of Green Gables by Sarah McCoy:  Lovely and heartbreaking to imagine Marilla's life before Anne.  Available via Hoopla.

House of Dreams: The Life of L.M. Montgomery by Liz Rosenberg:  This book is NOT fiction, but all those who love L.M. Montgomery's fiction should read it.  I said more here.

2018 Highlights -- Fun/Creepy Reads for Boy Moms

Consider yourself warned.  Who's good enough for your precious boy?

The Girlfriend by Michelle Frances

The Other Woman by Sadie Jones 

2018 Highlights -- Romance

Combination of some steam and a good story.

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang:  BOTM pick.  Available via Hoopla.

The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory

Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows by Balli Kaur Jaswal:  Reese Witherspoon said so.  Via Hoopla. 

If you're not exhausted, check out Part 2:  2018 Reading Highlights -- Nonfiction.

Revisiting The Blue Castle

Here's my copy of The Blue Castle from the late 1980s.

I was scrolling through #bookstagram the other day and spotted a copy of L.M. Montgomery's The Blue Castle.  Scanning the comments, I glimpsed someone saying that it was their favorite L.M. Montgomery novel.  Hmmm, really?!  I knew I had read the book but had no memories or impressions of it.  Zero.  Zilch.  Nada.  After I finished off the Anne of Green Gables series in around seventh grade (maybe that's late to read them ... I don't know, but that's when I discovered them), I made it a point to buy and read any other L.M. Montgomery book that crossed my path.  So, I likely read The Blue Castle somewhere between 1987 and 1989.  I can be forgiven for not recalling a book read thirty years ago except that I do remember many other books read during that period.

The L.M. Montgomery titles available via Hoopla have the gorgeous artwork from the new Source Books editions.

Last year, I revisited L.M. Montgomery's Emily of New Moon series as audiobooks checked out via Hoopla Digital.  I did a quick search and discovered that The Blue Castle was also available on Hoopla.  I downloaded and pressed play, and this weekend's listening experience was wonderful!

The Blue Castle is just fantastic.  L.M. Montgomery tells the story of Valancy Stirling, a plain young woman of twenty-nine who has lived a small, dull, stifling life with a proud but fairly miserable family.  She's unmarried and mostly ignored.  She's existing but not living.  Having experienced some heart trouble, she gathers up just enough gumption to see a doctor outside of her family's circle.  The news she receives convinces her that if her life won't be long, she ought to at least live it.  What ensues is an energizing, satisfying story of bravery, friendship, and love.  When Valancy finally realizes she doesn't give a hoot what her family thinks and begins speaking her mind, I was laughing aloud and cheering her on. 

Just some of my L.M. Montgomery books from the late 1980s.

At 44, I loved every second of The Blue Castle, but I guess at 12 or 13, I wasn't that impressed.  Perhaps a middle schooler can't fully appreciate the courage required to explode one's whole world and sever family ties.  I'm now excited to see what other L.M. Montgomery titles I can reread.  Nine years ago while nursing my daughter, I reread all the Anne of Green Gables books on my iphone.  I revisted the Emily of New Moon books last year.  I think I'll head back to Pat of Silver Bush next.

This book is very readable and includes perfect illustrations by Julie Morstad.

I find I am appreciating all of L.M. Montgomery's books even more after having read Liz Rosenberg's House of Dreams: The Life of L.M. Montgomery this past autumn.  This well-researched account shows how un-dreamlike Montgomery's life was.  One appreciates the spirit, life, and struggle of Anne and Emily knowing how tough Montgomery's own climb was -- that constant interplay between darkness and light.  Heartbreaking, actually, to know that someone who saw and brought so much beauty in and to the world suffered so keenly.  If you are an Anne Fan, please check out House of Dreams. 

Have you revisited any childhood books as an adult?  Despite the "so many books, so little time" reality of life, my experience with The Blue Castle makes me think I should do more rereading, especially with favorite authors. 

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Several weeks ago, I listened to the audio edition of Amy Hollingsworth's The Simple Faith of Mister Rogers: Spiritual Insights from the World's Most Beloved Neighbor.  I had not really thought about Mister Rogers in years and I was really inspired by this book and the way Hollingsworth framed his show as a ministry wherein Rogers preached the Gospel without using words.  Hollingsworth had the opportunity to interview Rogers in the later years of his life and exchanged letters with him for many years.  Selections from the interviews and letters are included and really give you insight into the man outside the television screen (who was actually quite a bit like the kind, patient man on the television screen).  If your library subscribes to Hoopla, you can borrow this book for free and I recommend that you do.

Inspired by The Simple Faith of Mister Rogers, I decided to track down the Mister Rogers documentary I had been hearing about.  It was showing one-day only at my local theater so I texted some friends and we met up for a 1:00pm showing of Won't You Be My Neighbor?  I loved it.  To see and hear what he was trying to accomplish with his show, his dedication to creating programming that treated children with respect, kindness, and honesty was wonderful.  As a child, I enjoyed the show and remembering feeling calm and safe while watching it.  I remember the satisfaction I felt watching Mister Rogers change into his sweater and sneakers.  I remember how transported I felt when the trolley traveled to the Land of Make Believe.  I loved when Mister Rogers went on field trips.  I loved the opening credits with the aerial view of the neighborhood.  What the documentary drove home to me was how hard Mister Rogers worked to acknowledge the fears and anxieties of children, to address current events/tough topics in ways that could be helpful, and to send the message over and over again that each child is worthy of love just as he/she is.  I was pretty much weeping by the end of it.  There were not many (or any?) dry eyes in the theater.  Even my friend who grew up in Mexico and did not have a childhood that included Mister Rogers enjoyed this documentary.  It's available now to buy on Amazon or rent/stream as well so please do check it out.

One more thing that struck about Won't You Be My Neighbor? was Fred Rogers' concern about what the long-term effects of children's television programming would be, particularly the programs centered around violence, frenzied pacing, cheap gags and jokes, and the demeaning of others.  That concern gave me pause as the bratty kids, bumbling parents, and abysmal writing on many of the shows on Disney, Nick, etc. now seem the least of our concerns with the new influences of social media, YouTube, XBox.  I'm not saying there aren't good things our kids are absorbing these days (or good things they could be absorbing), but there's just so much out there and so much we don't know about the messages they are receiving.  I need to take more ownership of what messages my kids hear most powerfully.

Going to see a documentary is one of those things that I would typically think about doing but never follow through on.  I'm so glad I tracked down the movie time, sent the text, and enjoyed this experience with others.  Bonus:  We saw Won't You Be My Neighbor? at the York Theatre in Elmhurst, IL.  If you attend an Art at York film (it's a once, sometimes twice a month series), you can show up thirty minutes early and enjoy live organ music played on an organ that rises up from the floor of the theater.  So fun!  How'd you like to have that in your neighborhood?